Hey, get out of the way, out of the way!
- Lecher! - Lose the underwear!
Hey, who do you think you are? Move it!
Hey, young man!
Don't you know who my father is?
I'm going to run right over you!
Oh, my leg. My bike!
What are you doing down there?
Just cleaning my bicycle wheel.
- It's a nice bike. - Do you like it?
Dad bought it in the States.
- I'll give you a ride to school. - That would be great.
Wonderful, wonderful!
Creep!
Don't go yet! I'll ask Dad to buy you some new clothes.
Good morning, good morning, good morning.
Watch this, no hands!
Thank you, thank you.
- Are you trying to show me up? - Everyone knows how smart you are.
- Are you trying to be funny? - You don't scare me.
OK, you asked for it!
Here I come!
Who's being shown up now?!
Bastard, I'll get you!
You should see your face - it's not a pretty sight.
Look how much bigger my arms are.
And I'm also much bigger down there.
- I'm better at something else, too. - What's that?
- Hitting a cop. - We'll see.
Mine's bigger.
Take this.
I told you not to do that. Here he is, Officer.
- Who threw that? - He did, Officer.
- Get up. - It was a mistake, Officer.
You little bastard, you're under arrest! We're going downtown.
- I didn't do it, I'm telling you! - You're good at getting arrested.
- I'll get you. - You're in big trouble.
Hey, don't stop or your miser of a father will shout at me again.
Put fifty sacks of salt on that truck right now.
Am I seeing things?
Your eyes are OK, but your back isn't.
- What are you doing here? - I've come to help you.
You shouldn't have come here. You'd better leave.
This isn't a job for you.
Brother!
That's it!
- So you want to test me? - Just to see how strong you are.
Take one more.
Not bad, huh? Your turn.
Watch this.
- Can you do it? - Of course.
How about that?
Oh, God!
Get him out of there, he'll suffocate.
- Father... - Father...
- Damn you, you idiot! - Father, I'm sorry.
- You... - Father, are you all right?
Of course I'm all right. I was just getting some salt.
You tried to hurt me with that sack, didn't you, you nasty piece of work!
- Think what you like. - Father, it's not true, really.
Sticking up for him again? You'll get yourself in trouble like this.
- You should know better, you fool. - He's done nothing wrong.
I won't argue with you. And as for you...
Get all that salt packed or no dinner!
And you better make sure you stay in and study hard.
- Dad... - Not another word! Get inside!
- You, back to work! - Yes, sir.
Hey, brother, catch!
Excellent! Eat up now.
Under 250 pounds, you can cross. Next!
270 pounds! You're far too heavy!
What? It's up again? I must go on a diet.
Fatty, this bridge can't hold more than 250 pounds.
You're 20 pounds over. There's no way you can cross.
- Can I cross now? - That's better.
OK, I'm going.
This is 270...
250!
Up, up and away! Keep them in the air.
I'm 20 pounds lighter. I'll stay at 250.
Oops, I nearly missed.
One, two... Oh, God, a pigeon!
I'm going!
Serves you right, you fat bitch!
Boss, are my clothes ready yet?
Yes, they're in the workshop. I'll get them now.
- I'll be right back. - No problem.
- Is it cold today? - No, sir. It's hot.
Don't be so damned rude. Just tell me if you have any clothes to fit me.
What's so funny?
Of course we've got clothes to fit you.
Now look at this one, it will make you look a whole lot slimmer.
- Try it on. - Really? I must try it.
- Fat people like to look slim. - She's no exception.
Young man, I can't button it.
It will fit, just do what I tell you.
- So tell me. - Breathe in.
Chest out... Belly in...
Hands above your head. Don't move and I'll button you.
Come on, breathe in now.
OK, remember you must hold your breath.
Wow, what a beautiful figure.
Take a look in the mirror.
You look beautiful. See? I was right.
It really does make me look slim. It's terrific!
- Young man? - It's a pleasure to help a lady.
Thank you so much.
- What was that? - Your dress tore.
You made a fool out of me!
No, madam. I didn't mean to.
I didn't mean that either.
Mess with me, you little twerp, and I'll teach you some manners.
What do you think of my slim tummy?
You bastard, if I felt like it you'd be dead already.
So you want some more?
My legs are going.
Had enough?, I'll flatten you, you rat!
That was lucky. I escaped just in time.
Bastard, another second and you'd be one inch high!
Get out of there!
Be careful where you put your head.
Come out from there.
That'll teach you to fool with me, little boy.
Young master, are you OK?
- She won because she weighs so much. - Never mind, we'll fix her.
My boy, it's your teacher's birthday, so I want you to give him this.
- What is it? - It's salt, a token of respect.
We're a well-respected family. You'll go to the party in a sedan chair.
Ping, come here!
You can carry him so we can save the fare.
The Chin brothers are going to be roast chicken tonight.
- Master. - Master.
- Be careful! - Yes, master.
- Are you ready? - Yes.
As soon as they arrive, we'll hit them with the rockets.
On the first whistle, you set off the first string.
On the second whistle, set off the second string.
If I keep whistling, you keep firing, got it?
Let's go!
- Why did you jump out? - Let me carry you.
- No, Dad told me to carry you. - I'm your younger brother, get in.
- If Dad finds out, he'll be furious. - If we don't tell, he'll never know.
But I would know.
Bo, you're a lucky man. Go on, get in.
- You can be the boss. - Brother!
- If you won't get in, let him. - Thanks a lot.
- Let's go. - Right.
I've carried people all my life, but I never thought I'd sit up here.
It's just wonderful.
That's the signal. Light them up.
I guess I'll be a porter for the rest of my life.
Bastard, you'll be in orbit very soon!
Swallow it!
You dirty bastard! I'll get you.
- You brought this on yourself. - So what's next?
- Fire banner! - Oh, they're welcoming us!
Centipedes!
I see stars! Lots of stars!
- Come on, if you dare. - Let's get him.
Brother!
There's a hat for you...
and a nice big cigar!
Guess what happens when it's lit up?
You'll turn into a Roman candle. Don't you believe me?
- Hey, brother, that's enough. - I'll let you off because of him.
Come on, let's go home.
- He's so mad he set himself on fire. - Come on, let's go.
- Papa... - Don't be scared. Papa's here.
I'm scared, I'm scared!
He's my only son and they've destroyed him.
Damn you to hell for this!
Son, I'll make sure that Chin Do pays for this.
Mine, brother's, mine...
Young prince, until you came, I was so lonely.
That's the nicest pair I've ever seen.
Keep your hands off!
It exploded!
Well, you squashed the pear.
I've got something for you.
- I've finished mending your jacket. - That old thing? I threw that away.
I've got plenty of clothes. You're as stingy as the old man.
I'm sorry, I forgot. You're a rich kid!
You've got plenty of clothes. All I've got is old rags.
Hey, this is the best sewing I've ever seen. I'll wear it to parties.
Now, don't be upset. Here, have a pear.
- Where's yours? - It's squashed.
- I squashed it, so you have this. - We'll split it.
- Big half for you, small for me. - Split it? That's a bad omen.
Don't be so superstitious.
I will pay 2,000 gold pieces to wipe out the Chin Do family.
Well, I'll be damned! I made $9,999 in total today.
- One short of $10,000. - Have you got a dollar?
Hurry up, give it to me.
We'll call it a loan to make up the round figure.
I'll pay you interest.
Don't worry. I'll pay you back.
- Father, I'll get you some tea. - No, don't. Tea is too expensive.
This sour plum will do.
Much more refreshing than tea.
I'll let you try some, I'm not mean.
Just a little taste, mind you.
Don't be such a greedy pig.
- I didn't even taste it... - Now, help me move these things.
Hey, don't touch that!
It's too heavy. Take the light things.
I'll take the heavy one.
- Do you want some help? - I can manage.
What's this? Drunk again? When I tell the boss, you're through.
Drunken boxing?!
Fire! Help me, someone!
Help me! Fire!
Don't just stand there, you idiot, put the fire out!
Do something or I'll be broke! I'm OK. Save the money.
- Father, the key! - Oh, my key!
You're so strong, I knew I'd win if I bet on you.
You're very, very good.
But he'll win me a lot more money. I bet on him!
My dear, don't be scared! Even if you lose you've still got me.
I don't believe it! You careless bitch!
You're all show!
Come on, come on!
Come on!
Lucky I have this mattress, isn't it?
I'll paint your face for you!
Panda!
- Wonderful! - Oh, you want some more?
- Ah Fu! - Young master!
- What happened? - Your father was mean all his life.
Now he's cremated himself to save the cost of a coffin.
- Where's my brother? - Him? He died, too.
Brother!
- You can't play, your dad's a thief! - Your dad's a thief!
Don't make fun of my dad!
Dad!
- Don't say that! My dad's a hero! - He's a thief!
Dad, why didn't you come earlier?
Dad, I like this.
Ugly, ugly.
I made it especially for you. Do you like it?
This is the only horse in the whole world!
My dad made it especially for me with his own hands.
Can your father make a horse?
- That's the only horse in the world? - It's so unusual.
- It's weird! - It's strange!
You can have a go.
Come on, you can too.
Get off your horse and prepare to die!
That's the end for you!
This show's terrible. Let's go and see something else. Come on.
Here comes the striptease!
Have you ever seen...this!
- Damn you! - You're taking our business!
In that case maybe you should do a striptease yourself.
You bastard!
Ah, man to man, hand to hand, pound for pound!
A monk for a monk!
- Here I come! - A clown for a clown!
Your big show isn't as good as my little show.
Let's get him!
I'll let my student, Ali Baba come and fight you.
Ali, you're terrific!
Stop it! Stop it!
You shouldn't hit an old man!
There's no need to thank me.
- You're standing on my foot! - I'm sorry.
- Step aside, I'll take care of them. - You've done enough already.
- My stage is ruined! - Done! Uncle, are you OK?
I'm OK, but you're not. You tore my stage to pieces.
And you'll have to pay for it.
You don't mean that, Uncle. Let's talk about it.
My beard! Come back here!
You broke my stage, burned my beard, and now you're running away.
- I've got no money. - Right, let me see...
- You can work it off. - You mean be your servant?
I really am good at this.
I make great quilts.
There's only me and my wife living here.
I am the best husband you've ever seen.
I keep everything spick and span from ceiling to floor!
And from now on, you'll do all that for me.
I'll just drink and watch. Use this.
Clean this room from top to bottom. I want it to shine.
Get to work.
Do you think I'm a vacuum cleaner? Look here...
- You're making it even dirtier. - I'm sorry. I'll clean it up.
Back to work!
- Why are you so clumsy? - I'll work harder.
Oh, my god! Look what you've done! Can't you even sweep?
I've never held a broom before today.
But, I tell you, I can fight with one.
Teach me to sweep.
If I do, he can do all my chores.
Right, I'll teach you.
Come on.
Here's the basket. Catch!
- You missed a spot. - Oh, OK.
There's a matchstick there.
- Use your fingers to pick these up. - There's rubbish under the table.
- Are you finished? - That's the lot.
- It's pretty clean. - It's all cleaned up.
- Are you telling me what to do? - You did my job, so I'm doing yours.
Trying to run?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
As you've apologised, I'll forgive you.
The rat-faced man in the picture really looks like you -
but that doesn't look like me.
- Does it look like me? - Yes, it does.
So it does.
You bastard! You hit me with the broom!
Oh, my love, I know what I must do.
Hey, fatty...
No, my love... I mean, madam, last time...
Hush, I was in the wrong as well.
Don't be afraid of me. I'm no Mrs Tarzan.
- He's working for us for nothing. - OK, you can pour me some water.
- He doesn't know what I want it for. - That's easy.
- What are you doing? - You said pour some water.
- I wanted it to wash my face. - I'm sorry.
- Can you cook? - No.
Well, he can. Go and cook!
And I thought I'd found someone who'd work for free.
Now I have to cook for him as well.
- That's terrible. So the fire...? - Well, I'm on fire too.
- You know how to eat, do you? - Of course.
You jerk! Yes, dear, here you are.
- Wash it! - All right.
Never mind him, he's a silly old man. Eat some more.
Damn it! Why am I so unlucky?
- So what are your plans now? - Just to live day to day.
Your father should have taught you that you have to work to live.
I'll teach you to make quilts so you'll have a real skill.
Hey, he's my student! Let's continue.
That woman is driving me mad!
No, I must keep calm!
Chin Do isn't a bad kid. It would be nice if he were my son.
Stop dreaming. Since our wedding, you haven't even produced a false alarm!
Hold on, it's not my fault.
All you do is practise Tai Chi, you can't do the other.
Tomorrow I'll go to the temple and I'll get a fertility lantern.
I'll put you on a shrine. Stay alight for me.
The wine is an aphrodisiac for the old man.
I've got something for you!
- I'm not feeling well. What is it? - This special wine will perk you up.
- Here, take it. - Hey, it's good wine.
What a waste, burning a lamp during the day.
Wait a second, there's no hurry. Come on.
- Let's go to the lamp. - Quick, I can't stand it. Hurry up!
- It's gone out! - I blew it out to save wax.
- You idiot! - Hurry up, I can't wait any longer!
- Why hit me? - You live in my house, eat my food.
Why shouldn't I hit you? Get out of my sight!
So I'm a scrounger? I do everything. I even wash your underwear!
Well, I've had enough. I'm leaving!
Go! Get out! Just get out of my sight!
Chin Do!
Come on, horse, faster! Come on, faster!
It's really fun, Papa!
Papa, I want one.
Hurry up, Papa.
- Cute kid. - She's worth between $200 and $300.
Hey, come and look at the stage.
Quick!
Kidnapping?
Hey, you! Stop!
Let go! Are you crazy?
Watch where you're going!
Damn you!
Sir, we need this to make a living.
You've broken our props, look!
That's OK, just leave it.
No way! You broke it, so you pay for it.
- This head is worth at least $10. - That much?!
And the body is at least $20.
- Come on, pay up. - All right, I'll pay you.
The show's starting.
Damn you, kid! Do you want to die?
- Don't be scared. What's your name? - Tiny Bird.
- So your dad is Golden Eagle. - No...
- What kind of bird is he? - His nickname is "Killer Bird."
Killer Bird? No wonder he abandoned you.
He didn't. He's a kind man, but he can't talk so people laugh at him.
- Want to do kung fu? - Yeah!
Well, hit him hard, right on the head!. Go on!
That's no good. I'll show you...like that.
He's out!
- Where do you live? - At the children's nursery.
How can a grown man lose a child? It's disgraceful.
He's a good kid.
Take care of him.
- Come back and see me. - I will.
Keep working, old man. You'll never get any rest.
If Chin Do was still here, he'd be a lot of help.
- Old man! - Coming my precious.
- What is it? - Get me some tea.
Oh, and a towel as well.
Here.
Even the tea tastes bad. I just feel awful today.
- I'll give you a massage, OK? - Oh, go away! You're so clumsy.
Chin is much better.
It's your fault! You drove him away over nothing.
- You're blaming me now? - It's all your fault!
- Are you looking for a fight? - Well, yes, I'll fight you.
- You listen to me... - Shut up! You're going to listen!
I've had enough! I'll leave you one of these days.
No! I'll leave now!
Goodbye!
I don't want you to go. I don't want to move because I'm too fat.
If you come back, I'll do anything you say. I'll even lose weight.
Right! Remember what you said and I'll give you another chance.
You've worked hard. Sit down.
- Have some tea. - When I'm ready. Leave it there.
Clean the floor.
Terrific! That was so easy!
Thanks.
He's strong! Hey, your son's a good friend of mine!
What's going on?!
Goodbye! It was nice meeting you.
Get up early in the morning and clean the house from top to bottom...
Now that it's your turn to do the cleaning, you know how it feels.
Good heavens, my back is breaking.
You must be very tired. Come on, I'll give you a massage.
I'll sit down.
- There we are. - That feels great.
What do I do? If I just walk in, they'll scold me. What do I do?
Since Chin Do left, it's been awfully quiet here.
We always wanted a son, and he had no parents. We were just like a family.
I guess we'll always be alone.
I regret what I did. He's all alone out there somewhere, poor boy.
It's your fault. You shouldn't have kicked him out.
I wish he'd forgive us and come back.
- That's impossible. - Nothing is impossible!
- Why did you hit me? - Did that hurt?
- Of course! - So I'm not dreaming.
I didn't come back to see you, I just came to get my clothes, then I'll go.
What happened? How did you get in that state?
Some madman was chasing me. His kung fu was very good.
I wasn't too bad myself. I hit him a few times.
- What happened then? - He was so lucky.
He was faster, that's all.
If he hits you, he hits me. I'll show you how to kill him.
Stay out of this, woman!
- You're covered in bruises. - Just scratches...
I'm young so I can take it. If it had been you, you'd be dead.
That's where you're wrong. I'd use my soft style to counter his hard style.
- What style? - You could learn...
- but you'll have to learn from me. - I'll think about it.
- You can stay here. - Well, if you insist.
Good. I'll start teaching you the soft style tomorrow.
Tai Chi is split into male and female.
He means Yin and Yang.
- Who's the teacher here? - You are, you are.
Then stay out of the way.
Chest in, round back, shoulders down.
Wrists limp, waist relaxed, feet apart, bottom out.
- Ready? - I guess so.
You idiot! You look like an ape!
Loosen up, relax, easy, easy...
Now just relax completely!
- Why are you down there? - You said relax.
I said relax, not lie on the ground. Get up!
This Tai Chi boxing has driven you crazy.
You should consider yourself lucky!
It's shuffle, set them up, take one...
The right one, I win! Pay up!
- It's like playing dominoes. - What do you know?
My wife was very young when she left her family to marry me.
She liked me because I'm an expert in Tai Chi.
You're not so smart.
- But can you fight? - Of course I can.
- Give it everything you've got. - You must be joking!
Do I look like I'm joking? Come on!
I can move mountains with four fingers.
Seriously?
Yes. You must always make use of your opponent's strength.
To move with your hands, absorb the force of his blows.
That is the essence of Tai Chi boxing.
Tai Chi is much too slow for me. There's no fun in it!
He must be holding something back from me.
That's just typical. Teachers never reveal all.
That's much better!
That's a lot more fun, but it hurts!
- What are you up to? - I'm practising on this pole!
There's something wrong with you, torturing yourself like that.
No one hits you, so you hit yourself. Look at how swollen your hands are.
You're so strong, can you split this cotton wool?
Can't do it, huh?
No matter how hard you hit it, it will just absorb your blows.
This is why soft can always counter hard.
The bird can't take off but there's no magic involved.
When birds take off, they push off with their legs.
But I'm absorbing the force.
You must feel it and respond to it.
This is the basis of Tai Chi. Do you understand?
- What the hell?! - It's started to rain.
- I said practise, not sleep! - I'm learning to relax.
The spinning top is the key to learning how to deflect force.
It's based on the eight styles of Tai Chi boxing.
The greater the incoming force, the stronger the response.
- You OK? - Not really. I'm badly hurt.
It takes skill to loosen the cotton. Just follow what I do.
Do you get the idea?
Why did you hit it so hard? You've broken the string.
You must be gentle with the bow. Look, I've loosened all this cotton.
- All you've done is pack it tighter! - I'm sorry.
Auntie, I've heard there's an expert who can rip the clothes off your back
without you even feeling it. Can you do that?
What do you mean? I'll show you now.
Gently, gently, gently.
First the front, then the back.
Gently, gently, gently.
First the bottom, then the top.
Gently, gently, gently. Now from head to toe.
Gently, gently...
- Now I see, you're the expert! - So I am.
- Now, put your trousers back on. - Sorry, excuse me.
Tai Chi is to give out, catch, hit and deflect. Four parts.
To give out is strength. Concentrate your strength on one point and hit.
- It's the same as farting! - But it mustn't get out!
That's giving out.
To hit also means to distract your opponent and so confuse his attack.
Distract your opponent in one direction and hit him from the other.
Hello!
Distraction is only one part of it, the other is the attack.
Head... back... shoulders... bottom!
In fact, whatever you can use.
- There's one limb you can't use! - And what's that?
It's not as strong as it was, but it's better than you think!
You're always hitting me. Can I hit you once?
- Try to catch a bird. - Easy.
This is called catching it by the tail.
You've only got its feathers!
- What are you doing? - Sorry, there are birds everywhere!
Anyone can do Tai Chi.
Take this for example, if I don't like it, I'll push it to you.
- What if I don't like it? - Push it back.
- Why can't I push it? - You need good kung fu.
I'll teach you pushing hands.
I'll show you another kind of pushing hands - basketball!
- Go on, play him. - All right, but I won't lose.
- It's only halfway in - no score! - It's in!
- This isn't pushing hands! - No, it's pushing bottoms!
- It's in! - It doesn't count from underneath!
- What about from above? - It's only halfway in.
Hey, mind your manners, you watch it!
- That went in. - You said it.
- Dinner's ready. - All right, we're about even now.
Smart kid!
Tai chi boxing beats movement with stillness.
Use your enemy's strength as your own.
It looks easy enough. Open your hands. Ready?
You want to play?
Stop it!
That's nothing. You've just broken a pole.
Master, I've found Chin Do. He's hiding in a cottage by the lake.
Send the hit man out there. Kill him!
- Puppet master! - What is it?
We want you to do a play for my boss' birthday tomorrow.
But listen, now. Not the usual. We want something new.
You'd better do a good job now. I don't want any disasters.
It's not easy making a living these days. They always want new plays.
Where do I get them from, thin air?
But I have to do it - they're paying.
I can't sleep tonight. A new play...
That's it!
Uncle, I've got it!
Thank you. Please take your seats.
Today we have a brand new show. I hope you enjoy it.
- You're no puppet! - It's a new play!
Double luck and life!
You're not human.
You're a star!
You're not good.
You're the best!
Bastard!
You're a killer!
A lady-killer!
That's it! Goodbye!
That was a top-class show. It's a young man's world.
- You're a good teacher! - Flattery now!
- I'll take a look around. - Don't be late.
Chin Do, don't move!
Do you hear me?
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
It's no use waving now!
I'm going to blow you to kingdom come!
No!
- Here comes Chin Do! - No, Chin Do, no!
What's happening?
Oh, he's off again.
- Son, what's wrong? - I saw Chin Do! No! No!
Don't be scared. He can't harm you.
I've sent a hit man to wipe out his family.
Chin Do may have escaped, but we'll catch him, don't worry.
The man you want is right here.
So, you're here. That saves me looking for you.
I'll do you a favour. I'll reunite you with your family.
Let go, you fool, I'm your father!
My son, how could you do this?
It's daybreak. That lousy kid still hasn't come back.
Where were you? We waited up all night.
My wife even went out looking for you.
Don't ignore me, bigshot, just because you were such a success.
That's my wine you're drinking! I'll teach you a lesson.
Stay there, bastard!
Tough guy, walking out on us.
- I'm going to the nursery. - You must be drunk.
They don't take grown men.
- I've changed my mind. - That's better. Where are you going?
Who the hell do you think you are?
That's that crazy man who attacked me.
I understand.
He's saying that he hurt his hand smashing through our fence.
- He wants to fight us both. - I guess I was wrong.
I'll handle it.
This won't take two of us. One is enough to beat you.
Now, then, one to one. Off you go!
You can't even handle my student on his own. Shame on you!
Here I come!
I've come to dance.
Don't stop now! Get up and fight, go on!
You're pretty smart. You'll make it.
I must help him somehow.
I think I'm going to pass out!
What's going on?
- Oh, I'm going to pass out again. - Wrong guy!
Why do I feel dizzy all the time?
Uncle, I've won. Wake up!
- Your father sent me to see you. - Where is Papa?
- He had to go away. - Really?
- Has he gone far? - He's very near, just a step away.
Well, can you take me there?